She's at the table

She's at the table with my 11 yo daughter.  They have been there more than once today.  And they are going on over an hour of fun and games.  

First, they tried to do a puzzle.  It had 500 pieces which Mom declared, "Way too many!"  DD did not want to sustain that activity so she came out with Mancala.  I'm sure Mom's played Mancala once or twice.  But she couldn't get it.  I love the fact that my daughter is attuned enough to go pick out another game.  

She returned with cards to play Go Fish.  They proceeded to play while I worked on papers for my classes. My Facebook status during this exchange was: "Listening to DD try to explain GoFish to my Mom is heartwarming.  Listening to Mom struggle with this game she's probably played hundreds of times...heartbreaking.  It's weird to experience both emotions simultaneously!"  

I so want to help her be able to dig into the file cabinet that I know is in her brain and find the "Go Fish" file so that she can be successful.  But I can't.  The file is either lost or, at the very least, the drawer is locked.  Tight.  And the worst part of this disease is that it will never reopen.  NEVER.  

When I think about it too hard, it absolutely breaks. my. heart.  Still, I'm thankful for the tenderness with which my DD approaches playing with her Grandmother this afternoon.  It dawned on me that I could learn a thing or two from her.  She laughs with Mom.  She gently reminds her again and again and again what the next step is.  And she relaxes.  These are not things I do well.  

While the things DD is teaching her today will be lost instantly.  I am praying that the things she is teaching me, will stick a little better. I need to file it into my "Caregiving" file and throw the key away so that it's not lost.